Assertive or Submissive? What's her Preference?

As an author of two bestselling novels (A Love I Can Trust and The Seasons of Love), readers have often described my books as lustful, romantic, sultry and risqué.  Readers have said my books either have them feeling ashamed of the passionate feelings that may arise or wanting to be more adventurous in the bedroom with their partners. So, do women prefer to be submissive or assertive in intimacy? What’s her preference? And scene………..

My two books have sparked some very entertaining conversations. A large percentage of women find themselves transformed from being the engrossed innocent reader to becoming my last book’s main character; Alexa, a reflection of today’s sexually uninhibited femme-fatale. She chooses how many times she will be intimate with her partner, where the rendezvous will take place, where he should touch her and even how long he should take getting her to climax. Some may call this controlling but guess what? Women of the new millennium call it “Finally Gettin’ Mines!”

The role of women in the bedroom has changed for those who are in the age-group of 25-50. This age-group covers women who were born from the 1960’s through the late 1980’s. Many blame the huge gender shift on the 1960’s, as it was described as being one of the most controversial decades in American history. From empowering songs such as Aretha Franklin’s “Respect” to Kelis who screamed, “I hate you so much right now!” it is undeniable that those years are emblematic of a new kind of female consciousness.

I can’t understand why people are surprised when women are more assertive of their intimacies. Does this scare men? YES!! They internalize the change in paradigm shifts as if we are trying to minimize and negate their presence. Not the case my strong, sexy men. As we become more assertive in the bedroom, we want you to match our zest and adventure as well. No, you’re not the only one smacking our gluteous maximus, we are smacking yours too. We are telling him to dance for us. We are telling him to sit back and watch while we teach him what pleases us! So yeah, women prefer being more assertive in intimacy and we are loving it!! Smooches.

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